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Reviews For Keepsakes Lost

Name: MadameMorganLeFay · Date: 07/11/17 3:19 am · For: Mithian Reaches Out to Merlin
It is definitely necessary to see Mithian's point of view during this part of 4x11, and I'm interested to see where this goes. Some of the dialogue tags could have been reduced-- it's usually better to use "said", which is less distracting to the reader. Nonetheless, we need more stories with Mithian's perspective, as she was a very interesting character out of the cast, and woefully underused, given that her presence was largely linked to her marriageability, and not her character.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the review. This story (as well as my drabble, "Jewel") are both definitely intended to be 'post-eppie' stories for 'Hunter's Heart'. I couldn't agree with you more on needing more of Mithian. I thought she would have been a great addition to the show in Season 5. 'Healing' was a way of showing how she could've influenced a Season/Series 6. Unfortunately she, as with most Princesses of her era, was a tool of the marriage game between kingdoms. Arguably, Mithian was Morgana's tool on both occasions that she appeared. (This will come up later in this story.) But yes, Mithian would have provided some tension and a definite dynamic. I could see Morgana using her (as she did Gwen) to get between Arthur and Merlin. I can also see a Merthian friendship at the very least. (Of course I'd LOVE to see Merthian sparks and other things but I'd take what I can get.) Read on and you'll see what I'm talking about. You might also look at my first Merthian story, "Refuge", over on ff.net. That one's set right after "Another's Sorrow" by the way. As for the whole said/asked thing, I guess we have to agree to disagree there. Perhaps it's distracting to the reader. To me, the whole said/asked thing is like sawdust. It's bland, colorless, punchless and frankly boring. I'm left asking,"Okay *how* did s/he do it? Why couldn't the writer develop this more instead of leaning on this crutch? Develop this scene already!" Then, to respectfully refer back to a review on Healing, one has to lay on the adverbs and descriptors and that can be distracting too. Said and asked, while they have their place, are like the passive voice in writing. They grate on me as a reader. Sorry but they do. This is why I tend not to buy published novels. Most of them frankly bore me. Little imagery. Same bland dialogue. No pictures for my mind. My main rule as a writer: if I can't see it in my mind, it doesn't end up on paper/on the screen. If there's no imagery, well...see earlier rule. Same for my adjectives and descriptions. I had someone get on me because she didn't know what 'Iberian' meant. Well to me, I could've said 'the knight was of dark complexion' but then I'm left asking 'Okay, is he of Middle Eastern, African, Asian, etc. descent?' To most readers today, that's not important. I'm a detail guy. I guess that's just the way I am. Sorry about the rant. I really do value your reviews. I want to reply because we folks to do take the time to review and offer feedback do need to know that we are valued even if sometimes there is the agree to disagree element there. I am excited about this series frankly. I hope you do follow along because I have some twists and turns. (One comes up in the sequel, "Trial". It's something that was left ambiguous in Chretien's work but I'm taking my own bent on. :) That's all I'll say for now. Yes I'm a terrible tease! ) Thank you once again! I do appreciate it. Take care! Sincerely, DJ


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